1 Feb 2017

Your Biggest Valentine Fashion Mistake Might Be In Between Your Thighs

Let’s face it. We spend a LOT of money on shirts, suits, pants, and most definitely, shoes. Fashion is everything, especially for a bachelor. We want to be sleek and stylish. We don’ want to be caught dead wearing our old gramp’s denim overalls when we meet “the one”, after all.

But, we’re just men. And a lot of times, our biggest fashion mistake is usually the most important one. The piece of clothing most commonly overlooked. The last line of defense and the last one to surrender before a woohoo. Unfortunately, it could also make or break the moment, and turn a winning night into a complete and epic failure. What am I talking about? Well, I’m talking about your stinky underwear.

Here are the common mistakes that we can commit when it comes to our underwear. Please read and avoid for the love of all things!

Grandaddy Briefs

grandpa briefs

If there are granny panties, then here is the dude counterpart – granddaddy briefs. If your briefs is screaming: “ I belong to a seventy-year old lonely granpa”, throw it away. If your briefs have crispy bacon strips for garters, burn them, please. If your boxers have holes the size of New York City, please send it to hell where it belongs. I don’t care if it’s comfy soldier! If it’s old and worn out, then let it retire.

Stinky and Stained

Do we even need to talk about this? If it’s smelly, change it. Wash it. Torch it. I don’t care. If you’re going out, even if you’re just going to buy a box of milk, don’t do it while wearing your stinky and stained underwear. You don’t know when a group of ninjas will come to try and assassinate you, but you’ll survive, wake up surrounded by beautiful nurses, but they don’t even want to touch you because there’s a huge stinking stain on your white cotton pair. Save yourself the heartache.

Blinged Out

Really flashy prints, loud colors, and bling does not suit a real man’s underwear. Go for the classic route. Keep it plain. Just think: would she be able to discern how big junior is if there’s a big picture of Batman on your briefs? If the answer is no, then it’s time for a change of heart….and undergarments. And please, spare the Salvation Army. Don’t donate your underwear. No one wants it.