13 Dec 2017

Three Oh-So-Naughty Christmas Sex Positions To Try

Still thinking if renting out that Santa suit’s worth it or not? Carry on, brother…there’s a dirty Christmas gift waiting, or shall I say, a special stocking waiting to get stuffed.

There is nothing sexier than a guy in a Santa suit, especially when he’s sneaking in through the windows to surprise the kids – that’s what a girl said to me in the past. I’ve thought about it and it made a lot of sense, otherwise why DID mommy kiss Santa underneath the mistletoe that night?

But if you think that the Santa suit is enough to complete the evening, then you are so wrong…just so wrong. Because here are three Christmas sex positions that will surely put you on the naughty side of the list.

Jingle Balls

Strip down to your birthday suit and let the lady do the action. Position her on top and be nice and obedient. Naughty boys won’t get some candy. Once she’s already comfortably bouncing, ask her to jingle your balls as well.

Riding The Reindeer

Now here’s a position where you can still get to wear your costume – and get one for the lady as well. Although, I seriously believe that it would still be better to strip down and just leave the hat. Believe me, you won’t be renting any suits from that shop again if you return it strained (you disgusting creature). Speaking of costumes, get a pair of reindeer horns for her too. Tell her to attach it really good with hair pins. You might want to grab a hold on them later! Once the horns are attached and you already have your horny mode on, it’s time to mount her, doggy style, only that she’s not really a dog. She’s a very naughty reindeer.

Fill The Stockings

Now, for the last position that we’re going to share, and definitely my favorite. To do this, prop your lady against the wall, and use this as a leverage to carry her, much like “hanging” a stocking. Pin her there. Now that she’s well balanced and pinned, stuff her really good. Show her that not only turkeys get stuffed during the holidays.