Casual dates have changed so much over the past two years. Thanks to technology, what seemed impossible for hopeful singles are now a few swipes and scrolls away. In fact, I’d go as far as saying more men who thought it was a long shot to score women five years ago are now in a pretty good place.
If there’s one online platform that’s comparable to Facebook’s popularity, it’s Tinder. I consider it the less vulgar, more relationship-centric version of Grindr. I’ve been dating online for quite some time now, have met women whom I’ve had the most awkward and the most fun time with. Along the way, I’ve learned a lot about being the best Tinder guy out there — or at least for my Tinder date.
So if you’re new to dating online, let me tell you a few things you need to keep in mind. The last thing you want is making it even harder for yourself to bag a girl.
Look like your profile picture
Tinder gives users access to others’ Facebook photos. Now if yours are a bunch of blurry, grainy or faraway shots, don’t be surprised if no one’s been sending you a message.
Put your best foot forward by actually looking like your profile picture. Stop choosing photos that conceal your face. Choose the ones that show you at a very good light, without sunglasses or caps. Don’t forget to upload profile photos that give justice to how you look now, not six years ago.
It’s terrifying enough for her to want to meet up with a stranger. Make that woman feel at ease the instant she swipes to your profile.
Do your research
I’m not asking you to play Sherlock here. All I’m saying is it’s best to save yourself from possible disastrous situations by doing your research.
It helps to check if you have mutual friends and ask them about your supposed Tinder date. Just don’t go as far as Googling her name because you want to be sure. Besides, you’re already killing the element of surprise and mystery, both of which could actually make this date even more interesting.
Stop acting so desperate
Trust me. The smell of desperation plagues Tinder, along with every other dating app out there. Set yourself apart by keeping yours in check.
No, you don’t get to tell her “I’m only in town until tomorrow” or “I’m booked in a hotel nearby”. Play it cool even if you’re really, really dying to get laid. Once both of you are out on a date, be at your best behavior. If you sense that the feeling of desire is mutual, still ease into it.
Keep in mind: No woman would want to be with someone out of pity. Make sure you be the kind of guy that will make her crave you instead.
Your best foot forward is your honest one, not what would sound good to her ears. From the moment you exchange messages down to the your first date, it’s best to be truthful.
Don’t misread me here. I’m not telling you to bare it all on your first date. You don’t want to scare her off or lead her to think that you’re a creep and she’s about to be your next victim. Hold back on a few things you believe would be best told if you’re actually going for a second, third, fourth or more dates with this girl.
If you do end up in a relationship with this girl, you wouldn’t want her discovering certain things that you totally lied about during your first few dates.
Play it safe on your first date
I’ve spent $200 for a dinner with one woman I met on Tinder and it wasn’t worth any penny at all. She was ill-mannered, bashful and frankly, she kept on talking while her mouth was full.
My point is don’t go over the top on your first date. What matters here is to see whether or not you have a connection, even if you’re just strolling around the park. Keeping it simple makes it far more comfortable for both you and your Tinder date. Besides, who’s ready to sit through a fancy dinner with a complete stranger anyway? Leave it to the movies.
Never, ever go back to back
Imagine this: You’ve just finished your date with Tinder Girl #1 last night. Today, you’re on to Tinder Girl #2 and while you’re on the way to meet her, lo and behold you bump into Tinder Girl #1.
It’s never a proper modern man’s way to go back to back on a Tinder date. Even if you couldn’t stand being with Tinder Girl #1 last night, at least make her feel that she’s worthy of your time. Plus, you wouldn’t want to end up becoming a HR — scouting names and choosing which one is the best investment.
Try not to develop a “collect and collect then select” frame of mind. I get how easier it is to hook up with someone online but don’t be a slob. Be a decent dude instead and earn the respect of every woman you’ll come across with, even if it doesn’t work.
Tinder shouldn’t be a pain. If you play your cards right, you might just find one woman that will finally put an end to your swiping. I know I did.