3 Oct 2012

Get Naked Now! Shape yourself into a better person

A few years ago, one of the most difficult things I had to deal with was my fear of talking in public. This wasn’t just a minor thing to overcome because it often linked to many of my social activities. I couldn’t talk to people because I had this fear of rejection and often found myself lying or transmitting the wrong message.

I don’t want to act like a shrink and tell you that this fear of expression could be linked to a childhood spanking or anything and paying $50 an hour just to sit and listen about how I should make peace with myself just didn’t cut it. I still needed a fix for this issue, some steps to take or some sort of guidance out of the mess I often found myself neck-deep into.

Luckily, in my case, the change happened without me even noticing it.(and I didn’t even have to go to an African witch doctor help). The basic thing you have to keep in mind is that you should focus on the solution and not on the problem. The road is anything but short and this is why I came up with this list of things that might help you shape yourself into a better person.

12. Move out of your parent’s apartment! Wait a minute! Don’t listen to me if you aren’t old enough to have a driver’s license. I’m serious! Moving out will help you gain independence but it also takes a lot of responsibility. If you won’t run back to your folks after the first month is over, you’ve already become a better man/woman.

11. Keep a diary! Write down your progress! This step is important if you want to keep track of your evolution and it will also help you with your communication skills. You don’t have to start with the usual “Dear diary” phrase, man! Write down essential stuff like how many miles you’ve ran or how many push-ups you’ve done. Keep a close eye on your expenses if you followed my previous advice and rented a place.

10. Seriously evaluate your friends. I’m not saying you should test them or ditch any of them but you should really ask yourself if you have anything good to learn from them. Would they jump in to help you if you needed help? What’s the best advice you’ve ever received from them? Can you express yourself freely in their presence?

9. Change your job if it isn’t what you like doing. Don’t postpone this! Think about what you’ve always wanted to do and never had the time or guts to do. I’m not saying to start training to become an astronaut. I’m saying that if the sky inspires you, try to be as close to it as possible. Find the thing that you’re good at and never do it for free.

8. Go to the gym! There’s nothing better than a good conversation starter and if you feel good about yourself, you will most certainly show it. I know you’ve put on a couple of pounds since last Christmas but try to think of your body as if it was a machine. What are you feeding it? How much time do you spend everyday exercising? Start going to the gym for a month and keep track of your progress. “Dear diary”

7. Change your clothes! You don’t have to spend a fortune and go out changing your wardrobe all at once. Do it in such a way that it wouldn’t affect your budget.Whatever you do, just don’t ask your mother what to buy! Find a good magazine like Men’s Health or Esquire and take a look at their fashion section. You don’t have to buy the exact ones, just try to keep an eye out for something similar.

6. Take on dancing or acting or both. So you’ve been going to the gym for a whole month? How’s your dancing? What do you mean that a chair falling down the stairs moves better than you? Let me tell you a little secret man. Dancing will give you a major boost in confidence. Most of the guys out there look like drunk hookers when it comes to dancing so here’s your chance to shine baby. Try Salsa or Tango. Women love Salsa and Tango, trust me! The acting course on the other hand will teach you how to express your feelings plus, you will meet many interesting people with dancing and acting.

5. Read good books! There are plenty of gorgeous, interesting, smart women out there and telling them about your level 70 Palladin will only make them run away from you faster. Read good books man! Find a top 100 of the most interesting books ever written and get to work. You’ll begin to feel more confident after the first page. Women love smart, mature, elegant men. That’s women, not girls.

4. Do karaoke! Remember Barney Stinson? He sang Karaoke like crazy and even if he is just an imaginary character, the truth is not that far from reality. I’m sure you sing in the shower and that’s all the training you’ll ever need for Karaoke. Even if you sound like Barry White eating wasps for dinner, karaoke will help you understand that it’s ok to be human and have flaws.

3. Learn another language. This is the fun part of the list. Women love someone who understands more than what the average hobo understands. Try French or Spanish! It’s not that hard to learn and it will also help you with your communication and listening.

2. Travel! And by traveling I don’t mean going to the local grocery store. Travel around the world! Collect different stories from all the places you’ve traveled to and share them with your friends.

1. Say “No!” once in a while. Whenever you don’t feel comfortable with something, just say no to it. Repeat after me… “No!”. Don’t forget though, if you’ve already agreed to it, you can’t change your mind. That’s what the rulebook says. Also, every item on this list will bring you into contact with many interesting people from different places. You will have a lot of fun doing all of the things above and you won’t have to spend great amounts of money to do them. In the end, ask yourself this question: “What am I doing with my spare time?”