You meet someone gorgeous in a bar, you hit it off, she laughs at your jokes, she’s interesting, she’s sexy as hell, so you take her home. Is that a familiar scenario to you? It’s the classic one night stand. Fun, temporary, thrilling. Then she goes home. Did you ever find yourself wondering what it might be like to date her? To see her again, and find out more about her? If this hits close to home, then you’re not alone. We all have been there. We all wonder from time to time, if there could be more to this person than just a fun night of harmless sex. It’s a natural feeling. People affect us no matter how brief our encounter is with them. But what if you had a one night stand with a really great girl? Did you just blow your chance when you took her to bed so quickly?
Not really. A lot of people develop fulfilling relationships with their one night stand partners. According to a study done by Match.com, 35% of couples reported meeting each other and starting out through a one night stand. Then why the misconception? Because we tend to view romance from outside a box. And in this box we put chemistry, time, and lots of time to get to know each other and test the waters, the more the time, the lesser the risk of that relationship failing, effort. When time is lacking, we disregard the chemistry the compatibility as fleeting feelings brought on by intense physical attraction. You just had really great sex, it’s nothing special, snap out of it. Sounds familiar eh?
But what we fail to see is the bigger picture. We have to understand that romance is not a fixed value that must adhere to a specific set of standards to be considered valid. We all fall in love, in various ways and in various degrees. What happens when you go to bed with someone without the blanket of an exclusive relationship first is that you develop an instantaneous intimacy. There’s no second guessing when you let physical chemistry run its course. But the normal instinct afterwards is that whatever positive feelings you may have gotten from the experience, you tend to chalk it up as purely physical. That’s not always the case.
If you find yourself thinking about her days after your one night stand, especially when you’re not just thinking about the great sex, but now you find yourself daydreaming about how adorable her one dimple appeared on her right cheek everytime she laughed, or how her thoughts and views intrigue you, or how you miss the sound of her voice, then maybe you should give her a call. Ask her out on a second date. This time around, spend your time getting to know each other. After all, you already know you’re great in bed. See what’s out there, see if there’s something worth a second glance. There is a physical chemistry, you’ve already established that, now you can work on other areas of chemistry. The great thing about relationships starting out through one night stands is that if done right, the physical awkwardness is reduced if not eliminated entirely. Just be clear, be respectful, and honest. Those are the general rules to one night stands. Use them in dating as well. You already have an intimacy in place, use it as a foundation to see if a relationship can grow out from that.
What have you got to lose? If you meet the love of your life then that’s great, if not then you had a fun night with this great girl. It’s a win-win situation.