15 Feb 2016

3 Ways Men Sabotage Budding Relationships

Have you ever found yourself seeing a girl you like, or you may have started developing feelings for, then one day she just stopped being interested in you or suddenly grew cold and unresponsive to your calls, invites, or messages? Have you spent sleepless nights mulling over all your conversations, your dates, to find out why? What went wrong? What you did or didn’t do?

Ways Men Sabotage Budding Relationships

Before we go any further, let’s make things clear: Women are not as complicated as you think, and men are not insensitive as most women think. We all go through the same shit, we all have expectations, especially in the realm of relationships, and we’ve all either have had those expectations met and even exceeded, or we’ve been disappointed one way or another. The thing is, we all have standards, expectations, and needs and for a relationship to thrive from that, those three factors have to be met sufficiently. When one is lacking, you will find yourself on shaky ground. Because when you’re in the phase of the relationship where you’re exclusively dating, or seeing one person and both of you have begun to develop feelings for each other, a lot can go wrong in this crucial period. This is when the both of you are testing the waters. You already know that you’re attracted to each other, you’ve already developed a rapport, you’ve discovered you have chemistry. You can talk comfortably with each other, and a little sex might even be involved. But bringing that to the next level will make the both of you ask a lot of questions, and be in a constant state of vigilance for any indication that you might not be a suitable partner. There’s a common theme why most budding relationships get nipped in the bud. This is from the perspective of women

1. Ambiguity. Men are so afraid of rejection they use the ambiguity of friendship as a safe haven so they can scurry back in with their egos intact at the slightest sign of hesitation or disinterest. We do agree that there is a validity to being afraid of rejection, everyone shares this fear. But it is what you do with this fear that defines who you are as a man in her eyes. We also agree that friendship in and of itself is an important and indispensable part of all relationships. But you can be friends with a girl and let her know that you do want her romantically. It is possible, and it sends the message that you’re a confident, emotionally secure, sincere guy. That’s incredibly attractive to women. And should things not work out between the both of you, you can always count on the fact that you put up a fight, that you weren’t being cowardly. And that leaves a good impression on the woman. It’s a win-win.

2. Inconsistency. Are you deliberately sending her mixed signals under the guise of you’re busy, you’ve got a life to live, or you’re the mysterious, brooding, unpredictable type? Are you doing it in the misguided attempt to get her to go after you? If you do really like and care for a girl, don’t play games. It reeks of immaturity, insecurity, and irresponsibility. Remember that this is a whole person you’re dealing with, who gets hurt, who can change her mind about you, who can find someone else who will be more than willing to treat her with respect and consideration. Don’t leave any room for doubt in her mind about how you feel about her or exactly what role she plays in your life. And make sure what you tell her matches with how you behave around her and how you treat her. Be the guy who can walk the walk.

3. Too Much Focus On Her Looks. Men seem to operate on the misconception that women need to be complimented regularly about their physical attributes to be satisfied, to know that they are loved or wanted. Complimenting is not wrong, do it, tell her she’s so goddamned sexy you can’t think straight. But let her know too how you like that she’s such a compassionate person, who cannot help but care for her friends or worry about her parents. Don’t be too preoccupied with her looks because it sends the message that your feelings might stem from a strong force of physical attraction, and that’s not enough of a foundation for a relationship. When you compliment her for her character, her values, how she performs her tasks, how she overcomes obstacles, and how she fulfils her roles in life, she will see that you do recognize her as an individual, as a whole person.