10 Oct 2012

15 cars that will give your mother a heart attack

The first thing that might pop into your mind after reading a title like that might be “Why on Earth would I want to do such a thing?”

Why would anyone want to give their mother a heart attack?

Obviously I wasn’t trying to say that you should give your mother a lift in something that might make her scream like Hulk Hogan, but instead I’m giving you a list of my top 15 cars that could.

15. The 1000HP Toyota Supra - The guys from Induction Performance, Florida, have come up with a performance kit for your mothers Toyota Supra. Basically, what this kit does is that it raises the car’s output to 1000 HP to the wheel, making your mother sprint from 0 to 100km/h in less than 4 seconds. That should give her a kick when she’s out shopping for groceries.

14. Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 – So you’ve bought the new Corvette and the crazy chicks haven’t made their appearance yet? No problem! There’s still time to show your mother the neighborhood. With 638 HP rumbling under the hood, the trip will be rather short though. With an average acceleration time of 3,5 seconds from 0 to 100km/h, your friends won’t even notice who’s screaming on the passenger seat.

13. Dodge Viper SRT – I promise you that your mother won’t even come close to this car. She knows what lies beneath that shiny red paint, and the usual “I’ll take you to the farmacy Mom!” won’t work. Boasting 600 HP under the bonnet, this Viper SRT will go from 0 to 100km/h faster than your mother can reach for the pills. (3.5 seconds)

12. The 1970 Plymouth Hemi-Cuda – “How about a nice stroll down memory lane at 120mph, mom?” Here’s a car that will surely bring her back some memories: The Hemi-Cuda packed a 425 HP 426 Hemi V8 engine that was not to be messed around with. This muscle car sprints from 0 to 100km/h in 5.6 seconds and, if used properly, it can even reset her mind back to the 1980’s.

11. The 1969 Ford Mustang ‘Boss 429’ – This car is the same kind of car your mother lost her virginity into. It packed a semi-hemi 429 engine that produced around 375 HP and 450 Nm of torque. The Boss 429 Mustang did the 0 to 100km/h sprint in 6.8 seconds and the quarter mile in 14 seconds which was quite enough for many, many panties to come off.

10. The BMW M5 Hurricane RRs – This car is perfect for picking up your mother from the hairdresser. Disguised as a regular BMW M5, she will never even know what hit her. The Hurricane RRs boasts a staggering 830 HP under the bonnet, which is more than enough to give your mother a brand new hairdo in basically the same time the Hurricane accelerates from 0 to 100km/h. That’s 4.3 seconds to 100km/h, 9,1 seconds to 200Km/h and 25,2 seconds to 300 Km/h and a top speed of 372 km/h.

9. Mercedes-Benz Brabus Rocket 800 – So your mother’s dream car is a Benz right? Well, here’s a Benz that will surely make her stutter from now on. The Brabus Rocket 800 is powered by a modified V12 Biturbo engine that produces 800 HP and 1,420 Nm of torque. With all that power at the touch of a pedal, the Brabus Rocket will accelerate your mother from 0 to 100km/h in 3,7 seconds and reach an unforgettable speed of 370 km/h (230 mph).

8. A 1963 Low Rider Chevy Impala – Replace the electric switch on the windows with the Hydraulics controller. Trust me, this trick gets them every time.

7. Switzer’s Performance R1K-X Nissan GTR – With 1,400 HP under the bonnet, this car does the quarter mile in 9,42 seconds. Without a doubt the fastest gas-powered car around, Switzer’s GT-R will literally send your mother into a journey in time. Happy Birthday mom!

6. Underground Racing’s Audi R8 GT – Women love Audi. To them, Audi resembles a foreign gentleman who wants to take them on the most romantic trip ever. This 1000 HP Audi RB on the other hand, will resemble the German Sado-Maso freak out to destroy them. With a 0 to 100km/h acceleration time of only 3.5 seconds, there’s no escaping this Deutch Panzer.

5. The Jeep Wrangler Rubicon – You don’t have to be fast to make someone hate the day you were born. A nice walk in the park could easily turn into a survival drive in the marsh pits with the help of a Jeep Wrangler Rubicon. Women love the great outdoors, so getting your mom into the Rubicon won’t be such a big deal. Keeping her inside the Rubicon after a few speed-bumps at 100mph will be the tricky part. “Better buckle up, mom!”

4. 1965 Shelby Cobra – This car is a legend. Built by AC Cars, the Shelby Cobra had and still has one major feature that makes it stand out from the crowd. POWER! Under the bonnet it has a Ford 7.0L, 427 engine that produces 425 HP – 317 kW and propels the vehicle to a top speed of 262 km/h. The standard model could be your father’s long forgotten love but the 485 HP – 362 kW competition model, that reaches a top speed of 298 km/h, will surely be the reason your folks will get a divorce.

3. The Tramontana XTR – Ever wondered how it feels like in a space-ship? For a staggering $514,000, your mother could set a new world record for the loudest scream ever recorded. Taking into consideration the fact that the XTR weights around 1,360 kg, I wouldn’t be surprised if the car accelerates from 0 to 100 km/h in less than 3.5 seconds before reaching a top speed of 344 Km/h. “Don’t worry mom! Nobody can hear you scream in space!”

2. Caterham’s superlight R600 – Just tell everybody that you’ve bought yourself a new beach buggy. The 0 to 100km/h in 2.9 seconds should remain a secret though.

1. The Ariel Atom 700 – Nothing says “I love you mom!” like a face-full of flyes does. The Ariel Atom 700 is the kind of car that hands out heart attacks as if they were kisses. Boasting an insane 2.0-liter Ecotec l4 engine that outputs no less than 700 HP – 521 kW, the Ariel Atom 700 sprints from 0 to 100km/h in 2,7 seconds. However, this little car is also known for its incredible handling and lightweight bodywork. If I think about it, your mother doesn’t even have to be inside the Ariel Atom to have a heart attack.